"Most people live in their preference, and not in the present, and that causes them to live in pain"

"Most people live in their preference and not in the present"

Guru Singh said this the other night in class and it made so much sense.

We want something to happen so badly and we know all about the law of manifestation. We know how to do the work, raise our vibration, attract like to us, and then it still doesn't happen.  What?  How?  Why?

Think about it.  When you had the desire, did you get lost in imagining how it would be?  Did you make plans and think about how much better your life was going to be over there?  In the land of having what you wanted?

Then what happened to the present?  Do you remember your walk home?  Or were you lost in fantasy?  Having a full conversation with your mind in the future where it is that you have the thing or person or experience that you wanted.

So we live in preference.  This is how we want our lives to go.  This is the job I want, the lover I want, this is the thing that will make it all better.
How many times have you thought that then gotten what it is that you wanted and went "Uh oh".
The saying "Be careful what you wish for" comes to mind.

And then, on the other hand, if we don;t get what we want we live in pain.  Sometimes real pain, heartache, longing.

So why do we waste so much time trying to get the one experience or the one person?

Yes, of course, we want certain experiences and things for our lives and yes, it is good to have those intentions.  But what is it you are really wanting?  What will that new thing or person or experience bring you?
A sense of security?  of worthiness?  Of being loved ?  Of not being alone? Freedom?
Think about it.  Be honest with yourself.
Then the work of feeling that feeling can begin.
Now you can try to cultivate that feeling in your life , without the panacea of THE person, place or thing, (Did I just use the word "panacea"?)
Find ways.  Buy yourself  flowers.  Treat yourself to something you normally wouldn't.  Go on an adventure. Volunteer. Be creative in different ways you could make money. Take up a new hobby.  Be brave.  Talk to a stranger.

If you can do this, then you may start to feel better.  Dare I say good even?  And without what you thought you needed to make you happy..  You will no longer be projecting the lack of those things you want, but you will attract those very things that you are already vibrating.
Does this make sense?

And you may find out that the one you wanted is not the right one for you, or maybe you will decide you are fine without what you thought you wanted.  Or you may get everything you've always wanted and it's all perfect.  Then you know what?  You will want something else.  And that is the way it goes.  It is how the universe expands.  Our consciousness creating more and more and more.

But whatever is happening in this present moment is perfect.  Why?  Because it is what it is.  So maybe drop the drama of it all and get into it.  Don't miss out.  It may not be "perfect".  But guru Jagger said it best when he said "You get what you need."

love you

Wednesday is Trash Day

Wednesday is trash day.  It's a noisy morning.  Those trash trucks come rolling in about 7:00AM.  Everyone puts their garbage out on the curb for the whole world to see and the trash trucks take it away.

Perfect analogy for how I felt this morning.  If I could have loaded all my garbage on the curb, I don't think one truck could have hauled it off.  The hazardous materials truck with guys in hazmat suits would have shaken their heads and said, "I am not touching this stuff."

Last nights yoga class...amazing.  Powerful, sweaty, heart opening, celebrating with friends kind of class.
But sometimes, after the bliss of an amazing yoga class has worn off, I feel like crap.  Angry, vulnerable, frustrated, you name it. It's like all those things I don't let myself feel are playing hide and seek and after the fun is over they come out to tag me. All these emotions can be stored in our bodies.  Our hip joints, our shoulders, our solar plexus, all hold remnants of heartache, breakups, loss, grief.  We don't fully face things at the time and they get stored away.  So you  find yourself crying in pigeon pose and you don't know why or you find yourself getting angry the next day.

Same with meditation.  All kinds of garbage comes up  while I am chanting a mantra or trying to still my mind.  So I bring my focus back to my breath, to the words, to the way they reverberate in my body, but the mind keeps tip toeing off, sometimes stomping off into old memories, things that I have done wrong, thoughts of what an awful person I am.  Now where did that come from?

This morning I called myself a "failure"  at something.  Would I , in a million years, EVER think that of a friend or colleague?  Would I ever call someone that? The answer is no, in case you are wondering.
Luckily while walking my dog Chi Chi, a higher voice took over and said "Molly Ann (uh oh, I am in trouble), what are you thinking?  What is this word "Failure"?"

I watched two crows looking for worms.  One got something and the other,  nothing.  Did the one crow look at the other and say "Loser!  You failed to catch a worm!"? Maybe they did and I am giving them too much credit.
When a baby is learning to walk we don't chastise them for falling.   "Idiot!  What a failure! Why can't you walk? Dumb baby!"
(Sorry if i just brought up a painful childhood memory.)

Failure is a word, nothing more; a jumble of letters put together  to express what?  Failure: 1). falling short. 2). a weakening, a breakdown in the operation  3). not succeeding   4). becoming bankrupt.

I remember filing for bankruptcy.  It was a very challenging time in my life and I felt ashamed. "You can't make it on your own. At your age?  Shameful,  You should have a house by now and you can't even pay your bills."  Looking back it was a blessing, a relief.  I was given a second chance.  Not a failure after all.

 I guess, then we need to look at the word on the opposite end of the stick  and see what  "success"  means as well.  Success: 1). a favorable result  2). having gained wealth, fame etc. 3) a successful person

One person makes a lot of money and becomes famous yet is completely unhappy and lost in their personal life.  Another is blissfully happy most of the time for no apparent reason, yet doesn't own a house or a car..
Who is successful?

We are all askew here in the West.  We have lost our connection with our true selves, our inner light, the flow of the breath that is us.  All the outer trappings have become so important.  I think we are afraid to look inside, to ask ourselves why we are so hard on ourselves, to look at that dark stuff,  invite the shadow self to sit down over a cup of ginger tea and biscuits.

Of course, I have been meditating for enough time to look at this and not let the whole thing spiral into a pity party.  Poor me, I can't make a go of something.  Poor me, everyone else seems to be doing well at something and not me.
My path may be different.  I just don't know, right now, why things are happening the way they are.  I have set intentions of what I want to do and I know how this goes.  One thing doesn't work out so another can.  It's the old "one door closes so another can open".  Or as I have said before, "one door closes and a window opens so you can jump out."!  haha

But  that's what a leap of faith is.  You jump out the proverbial window not knowing if there is a handsome fireman under you with a safety net.  But there always is! (at least the net). It doesn't always mean that the first thing you try  works, but it will lead you to the next thing and the next and before you know it, you have a lot of experience and are enjoying the process of discovery.

A healer once said to me "We used to be explorers!  Adventurers! We used to discover things!  Now everyone wants to play it so safe.  I need a 401 K.  Oh, you need insurance.  You have to stay in that job for security.  What happened to our sense of adventure?"
So we don't take that job because we are afraid we can't do it.  .  We don't take dance lessons because we don't want to look stupid.  We don't talk to that fantastic person because we don't think we are good enough.

 There is no such thing as failure!  Let's take the word out of the dictionary.  We can go from "failsafe"  to "fain".

Or better yet.  Let's stop being so serious about the word and embrace it.  Go ahead make a big stinking "failure" of something and laugh at it!  HaHa!  Wasn't that great?  I just made a big fool of myself.  So what?
Yes, sometimes things don't work out.  But  think about it.  Look back and think about those times you thought you completely screwed something up.  Now some of those times were blessings, yes?  You would have never learned what you needed to learn to move on.  You would have been stuck doing something you hated.  You would have never grown.
And sometimes you just don't know for a while why something worked out the way it did. Just let it go.  It is past.  What can you do reworking it in your mind?  Isn't that a waste of time?  Learn a lesson, and move on.  It's called a "blesson".  I stole that word from a facebook post.  Funny, spell check on my computer doesn't yet recognize the word "facebook".  What a failure facebook must be!

So I can take my trash out, look at it and just let it go.  Not the recycling bin for this stuff.  Nope.  No landfill for this stuff.  This, I will release as the compost it is.  And something better will grow out of it.  Failure Shmailure!  I can't wait to see what comes next.

love you!

When I found love in me, I found love in everyone else"

"When I found love in me, I found love in everyone else"  Yogi Bhajan


LOVE  is definitely in the air.  And on the shelves at CVS and Albertsons and even Pet Depot!
There are lots of ways to express our love around this time of year.  Could be flowers, lingerie or a "mixed tape" of codependent songs.

I kid (because I love) but just for fun I googled the most codependent love  songs and a few that I remember and totally agree with are "I Can't Live if Living is Without You", "How am I Supposed to Live Without You?" and then (a little creepy) is Sting with "Every Breath You Take....I'll be Watching You" and the best "You're having my baby.  You're a woman in love and I love what it's doing to ya."  I loved it in the 70's, but I don't know, it kind of creeps me out now.

I mean, seriously folks, is THAT what love is?   I think we know better, yes?

Okay, disclaimer:  I am single but this blog is, in no way,  meant to defend a single person's right to remain so (well maybe a little...) or to bust the chops of anyone in a relationship.

When I was in a  relationship, I loved Valentines Day! It is a wonderful day to simply lavish attention on each other (as long as your partner is into that sort of thing).

But my first few years of being single I was a little sad, yet determined to show the world how much fun it was to be unattached!  Dancing at Mickeys in West Hollywood with all the beautiful gay boys, or going on an episode of "Hell's Kitchen"  with some girl friends.  Anything to say "I don't need to be in love to have fun!"

At the end of the night you come home alone...and then what? At first, I was really sad, for a long time.  Then I got tired of being sad.  Then I realized there must be something more.  Then I met all kinds of people who helped me realize there absolutely had to be something more.  Then I felt there was something wrong with me.  I simply couldn't connect.  I was always trying to be sexy or younger or something I wasn't just to impress someone. Then I just stopped.  All of it.   

I am content.  It has taken me years to feel it, but I am happy.  My Mother worries about me and thinks every time I have a date, that HE is THE ONE.  My friends consistently ask me after returning from vacation "Did you meet HIM?"
People want to know if I am dating someone or interested in anyone. I used to get tired of saying "No"  but not anymore. 

I have found that there is something more, but it is not OUT THERE.  
If I am looking for love outside myself or someone to complete me or make me whole, then I am barking up the wrong tree! 

If you cannot plant your own garden, then you will never find anyone who can do it for you.  you really do have to learn to love your own company.  To love yourself.  And not in a "OMG you are so hot I want to make out with the mirror" kind of  way.  But in a way that you start to see a bigger picture.  That you have a purpose.  You are special and have gifts to offer this world that no one else has.  Each one of us.  Completely unique! When you stop feeling sorry for yourself and start to realize your potential, then you can open your heart to include even more people.  You start to realize we all share the same feelings like heartache and love and disappointment and joy. And  "The Grinch's heart grew 3 sizes that day".  It's called compassion and it leads to such love.

You don't see anyone as "the other"  but as an extension of yourself. The mega rich, the homeless, the veteran of war, the politician, the CEO, the Pope,  the person who mows your lawn every week,  and the landlord.

I choose to be  in love.  Really.  Almost everyday.  And you can say I am off my rocker, nuts, a big tree hugging hippy, dingbat, crazy, and a fool and you would be right.  If I wake up and I am a little off I can tune right back into that love by watching the sunrise, seeing my dog smile, hearing the crows in the morning.  So many reasons to feel love.  To feel connected with all.

I've seen how it can work. To be in a relationship. My Mom and Dad, My sister and her husband, my son and his girlfriend, my niece and her husband, my nephew and his girlfriend, my friends who have loving partners, my long time married friends.  They come into the relationship as whole people.  No one is coming into it to fix the other or change the other.  They work at a relationship, but they also laugh and have fun.  I know how it can be and one day I may  be in a relationship with someone who loves themselves too.  But for now I am enough.  I am Love!

Love you!


"A thousand half loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home"  Rumi

Don't Just Do Something...Sit There.

Meditation.  Mindfulness.  Being Present.  Quieting the Mind.

But I have to get the kids ready for school.  I have 10 minutes to send out some emails before I leave for work.  I have to get to the gym. I have to walk the dog.  I need my coffee! I'm hungry.  Maybe  I can fit in a load of laundry before I have to leave.   It won't work for me .  I  am too A.D.D.

Maybe it just seems too intimidating.  You just really don't want to do it. That's okay.  It's always there when you want to try it.  And there are so many different techniques.  There is walking meditation, mindfulness practice, chanting a mantra, using a mala,  gong meditation,  yoga nidra,  sitting meditation, singing kirtan.

The Vietnamese Monk Thich Nhat Hanh has a meditation for everything;  even washing the dishes and going to the bathroom (don't get them mixed up) ha. He is a teacher of mindfulness.  This word is used so much but I wonder how many of us really practice it.  Are you fully present and mindful when you are washing a dish?  Do you stop and feel the warm water?  the texture of the plate?  Or are you thinking of the next chore on your list?

"Mindfulness is an energy that helps bring your mind back to your body so you can live your life more deeply. When you drink tea in mindfulness, you are truly there.  In touch with the tea.  In the here and the now.  If your mind is possessed by worry, with the past or the future then the tea is not really there."
Thich Nhat Hanh from Shambala Sun.

Think how many times we are not really present with a person in front of us.  We are busy thinking of what we are going to say next or where we are going after we talk to them.  "I  am in a hurry, how can I make my get away."

Thay, as his students call him, teaches the Mindfulness Trainings.    They are beautiful and you should google them.  Post them on your wall and try to live by them as much as possible.  I will go into them another time.
Last bit about Thay;. he has a lovely monastery in Escondido that I frequent.  It is hidden in the hills and there are mindfulness days open to the public. Go!  It is a full day of walking, sitting, singing, eating meditation and you will feel revived!  There are retreats you can take there and sometimes Thay comes to visit.  A truly special place.

I invite you to read any book by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron.  In her book "Taking  The Leap"  she has a whole chapter on learning to stay. She talks about what a difficult time she had first learning to meditate. Just sit down, get comfortable and bring light awareness to your breath. Easy, right?  When the session was over she realized she had been lost in thought the whole time and not present for one single moment..

Another book I suggest is "End your Story, Begin your Life"  by Jim Dreaver. "The essence of mediation is to sit and be very aware of everything going on within and around you.  You can become the master of your mind rather than letting those thoughts (the same ones you have had for years and years and years) and those stories you've been telling about yourself, control you."

There is so much to share with you, but hopefully this is a start and maybe you will find the information you need to find something that works for you.  If you live in Los Angeles I invite you to come to a kirtan at Bhakti yoga Shala any weekend night.  It is a joyful singing meditation of call and response chanting.  It gets crazy sometimes as we get carried away and start to dance:)  But you will leave feeling lighter, your mind less cluttered and a perma-grin on your face.

If you go to a yoga class, just realize that all those poses you do during class are getting you ready for the most important posture of all:  corpse pose or sivasana. You have worked out all the excess energy in  your body and brought in breath or prana so you can then rest the mind.

I leave you with a sitting meditation to just get you started:

Either sit on the floor or on a chair.  Rest in easy pose, cross legged, maybe sitting on a cushion so your hips
are a little higher than your knees.  you could sit on your heels if that is more comfy.  If you are in a chair rest the soles of your feet on the ground.  Find something you can hold still for 5 minutes.  Either rest your hands on your knees or in your lap.  Think of sitting up tall, however relax your shoulders.  Don;t tense anything, but try to sit up tall so you have room to breathe in your lower belly.  Close your eyes. Take a really deep breath through the nose and release it through the mouth in an audible sigh.  Now close the mouth and continue slow deep breath in and out through the nose.  Maybe count the lengths of your breaths.  In for 1-2-3-4  and out for 1-2-3-4. Continue that until you start to relax.
Then become aware of sounds around you, starting with sounds furthest away and eventually to sounds inside your room. Notice if you have any discomfort or tension or sadness or anger.  whatever it is just let it be.  Don;t try to make any thoughts or feelings go away, just come back to your breath.  These thoughts, where do they come from?  Out of nowhere.  Are they solid?  Where do they go?  Back into nowhere. Notice the story you may be telling yourself..  See if you can let it go.
Who is thinking these thoughts?  Who is telling this story?  You are also that awareness.  Take a deep breath and exhale.  All the feelings and thoughts you have are constantly changing, constantly morphing, moving.  You, the awareness that is you, the one thinking the thoughts is still here.  The thought come and go, but you are right here. Keep connecting with your breath.  Breathing in.  Breathing out.
When you are ready gently open your eyes.  Enjoy a glass of water.  Really enjoy it.

Namaste

"When is Now a good time?" Guru Singh

"Am I willing to act and think in my highest consciousness, or do I want to hang on to my old identity even longer?"

 Why do we cling to our beliefs?  Why do we have such a hard time thinking outside the box?Why do we have to be right? What keeps us from taking a bold step into our higher selves?   Old habits, lifestyle, fear of change, of letting go of ego? 

 Maybe you are at a comfortable point in your life; perfect job, house, partner.  Everything is just moving along nicely.  But change is inevitable.  It's the nature of things.  And then what will you do?  

Maybe now is a good time to start with some inward reflection, a meditation practice, something that takes you a little deeper, so when the external circumstances change you won't become rattled.  You will be able to accept what comes.

Or maybe not.  Maybe you will just take it as it goes. But if things just keep going along as is, watch how long it takes before your mind starts to spin it.  You start waiting for the other shoe to drop , or you become bored with they way things are.  Suddenly it's not enough. 

So you start a meditation practice and you practice and you practice.  After some time you will cease to be manipulated by things and outer circumstances. You will stop being so attached to your past, your possessions, your story of who you think you are. 

"Everything is experienced as harmony, even if the outward circumstances seem challenging or disastrous.  A person feels more of the pain of the entire cosmos, and more of it's joy, but rests in the neutral and sublime state of mind. It is the full awakening and integration of compassion.  Compassion gives one a capacity to forgive the unforgivable."

The Aquarian Teacher

Meditation is  not scary or a bunch of hocus pocus and ANYONE can do it. Not just us  tree hugging hippies.  It is a clearing of the chatter in the mind, of all those old judgements we have, of old voices, the inner critic.  We start to silence all of that so real wisdom can come in. Our mind is part of a Universal mind.  We know answers to things, but we never take the time to quiet down to hear those answers.  Awesome, right?

 I didn't say it was going to be easy.  When you first sit down, your mind will pitch a fit and find a million, no, a gazillion reasons for you to get up and fix a cup of coffee,  turn on the Today Show, check in on facebook,  or check your AOL homepage to see if one of the Kardashians has actually stayed married. You will find yourself thinking of things you've never even thought you had to do in the morning. "I should make a vegan chocolate bundt cake with a mint chocolate glaze to take into to work today.  A Bundt cake?  Really? Isn"t that just a cake with a big hole in the center? Do you even own a bundt cake pan?"

Look at that .  Like a crazy person you are having a full on conversation with yourself.  But that's what will happen.  It's okay.  One of the things you learn is that these thoughts are not solid or real and they start to dissipate.  They come up out of nowhere and then go back to nowhere if you just let them. Just let the thoughts come and go.  Soon you will start to experience a little bit of space between the thoughts.

 Just make a decision to try it.  Then be disciplined (ooh, the "d" word) and set aside at least 5-10 minutes a day to give it a go. Try it for a week...then maybe another...and another.  

There are lots of techniques and ways to practice.  It's "mind bottling"  as Will Ferrell said in Anchor Man.
If you want, maybe next blog I will share with you some techniques that work for me.

If you already have a meditation practice, please feel free to share what works for you, or maybe what  doesn't work for you.  
 "Unless you want  me talkin your ear off". as my friend Liz would say.

Love you!

Namaste

"Relax the mind, turn off the intellect, open the heart and just let it happen"
Ram Dass

The Gita and Me

Two years ago in April I took a yoga teacher training at The Bhakti yoga Shala in Santa Monica.   Part of our required reading was the Bhagavad Gita, the book that tells the tale of Lord Krishna and Arjuna. The translation by Eknath Eswaran was my introduction to this spiritual classic. His translations made sense to my Western mind and captured the relevance for today's world in which we, too, strive to maintain a spiritual life and do what is right.

The War Within

 Krishna says ,“Remembering me, you shall overcome all difficulties through my Grace.  But if you will not heed me in your self will, nothing will avail you.  If you egotistically say “I will not fight this battle”, your resolve will be useless; your own nature will drive you into it.
Therefore remember me at all times and fight on.  With your heart and mind intent on me, you will surely come to me.”

I love this passage.  It's about surrendering to a higher power (whatever or whoever your higher power is), knowing that you will come through this, whatever "this" is.  "This too shall pass". And you are not alone. You have the strength within, the power of the Universe.  We just forget that.  Or our ego comes marching in and says "I can't win!  This always happens to me.Poor me!  Why bother?" In the Tao of Pooh, that would be Eeyore.

The Bhagavad Gita is not a book of commandments.  It is  a book of choices. There is  no Original Sin but Original Goodness. There are nor rules to follow in order to go to a Heaven after you die.  Heaven and hell are here and now, depending on how you choose to live.
 The story takes place on a battlefield, before a war.  The soldier Arjuna is overwhelmed.  He sees before him his own family members pitted against him and each other.  He is disheartened and does not want to fight.  Why must he fight?

Krishna is his charioteer.  Krishna is the Divine form, God, if you will, who comes as a lowly charioteer to help guide Arjuna.
This battlefield is The War Within.

To live our authentic life, or to live the life someone else wants for you,. to listen to our heart or to listen to society, to make a choice because of fame or money or to choose because it feels like the right way to go, to draw a  boundary or continue to live in an unhealthy situation.  All of theses could be this battlefield .  And if we refuse to even look at it, to just walk away from the battlefield, then we will come back to it again and again.  The same problems, people, and issues will haunt you for the rest of your lives, unless you really start to address that war within.

If we are lucky, there comes a time in our lives where it becomes too much.  Maybe we are faced with a problem that seems so large that we just give up.  Or maybe we think “is this all there is?  Suffering?”  Do I want to live like this?  Is this really living?  So you resign yourself to what is in front of you and ask for guidance.

Arjuna says “My will is paralyzed and I am utterly confused.  Tell me which is the better path for me.  Let me be your disciple.  I have fallen at your feet:  give me instruction.  What can overcome a sorrow that saps all my vitality?  Even power over men and gods or the wealth of an empire seem empty.”

Roughly translated.  “I can’t take anymore. Nothing makes sense anymore.  I don't even know what I want. I give up.  Now what do I do? Help me."
Have you ever been there?

Yay. Now you are getting somewhere.
Because when you let go, offer it up, ask for help, almost immediately there is a shift and  you feel lighter.  The weight of the world is no longer  on your shoulders.  You don't have to DO anything right now. You've opened up the doors to Divine intuition and answers can start to come to you. You are not running away.  you stayed on the battlefield, you just released the struggle.

Half the people I know, first came to yoga because of a challenge in their life, a break up or a health crisis or loss of direction.  Myself included.  I could never make it through pigeon pose without crying.  (They say we hold a lot of trauma in our hips.)  But I learned to breathe, really breathe, and stay in whatever was happening.  And I started to feel a  little lighter, a little less overwhelmed.
It took some time but I started to relax, to enjoy the ups and downs of the ride a little more. With practice I could find that middle path where I became more of the observer of all the events and stopped feeling like I was fighting against life. By staying in a difficult situation instead of running away or trying to make it better or control it, I stopped fighting and suddenly there was no more fight.

When you keep practicing, nothing can ever affect you like that again.  Sure you can get rattled.  yes life will throw you for a loop or turn you upside down.  But you will always know that this is part of the ride.  There is a lesson in it somewhere.  And as a spiritual warrior you are armed with the tools you need to say Yes!  to all of it.

Namaste!

"Only the person who is utterly dedicated and utterly detached,"  said Gandhi, "is free to enjoy life."

           "  Bountiful,  Beautiful, Blissful,   Am  I "

Beautiful Mantra, isn't it?  Some mornings you wake up and you are happy for no reason. Then this little ditty is easy to say.  You smile at everyone, don't mind traffic,  maybe even poke someone back on facebook;  all with a song in your heart.

Then there are the days when this mantra sounds like a big load of crap. Bountiful?  I have $5.00 to my name!  Beautiful? HA!  Look at those "laugh lines".  What the hell has been so funny all these years?  Blissful? Seriously? 

Then maybe it's time to start saying it to yourself even if you don't believe it....yet. 

If you haven't turned off your computer and thrown it out the window and taken me off your friend list then here we go.

"Bountiful"  .  Are you breathing?  Good start.  Not bad.  Better than some started their day today.  You have $5.00 in your bank account?  You have $5.00 in your bank account! (Notice the exclamation point).  I am not saying "turn that frown upside down".  But you could start by being grateful that you have something more than a negative balance. 
What else?  Can you walk?    Can you see?  Is the sun shining on your face?  Is the rain falling ?  Do you have a place to sleep tonight?  Do you have a pet that you love more than anything in the world?  Do you have food in the refrigerator.  OMG ! you have a refrigerator! 
Seriously, find something.  One little thing.  Right now.  Close your eyes and be grateful.  If you can do this you can change your day around.  Just try it.  Your energy will slowly shift and things will start to change.  Don't take my word for it. Stop mocking me (HA) and give it a go.
For crying out loud, how much do we really need?  We are so brainwashed that we need to acquire more things, bigger things, better things!  We are so attached to the way we should be living.  Well don't let anyone be the boss of you!
One day a week, try the practice of going without one meal in your day.  You will be very grateful for an apple or a piece of bread or a full lunch!

"Beautiful"  Here's a tough one.  How many of us look in the mirror and don't like what we see.  Oh some days you  are like "lookin good girllll"  and feeling good.  Then you go to Macys and try on bathing suits.  What the heck is up with their lighting? And those fun house mirrors that add cellulite?
You do know you are much more than this body, yes?  It is important to take care of these bodies with a regular yoga practice or fitness routine, but once again we have become attached to bigger, better.  We try to maintain our 25 year old body . Or if we are 25 we want our 21 year old body.  We try to look younger.  We work so hard to try and go backward. My friend Todd and I came up with the "Benjamin Button Diet" where you too can get back to your birth weight!  
Relax.  Enjoy where you are.  Have you ever thought you looked old, then 5 years later find a picture of yourself from that time and think "I looked great!"?
As it gets harder and harder to maintain that youthful face and physique, you will either become bitter and resentful, or you will find that feeling good comes from within.
We have all been in the presence of someone who just shines from within.  And maybe they are not the magazine airbrushed beautiful.  However, their light is contagious and you feel good around them.
Try some acceptance.  Maybe a little surrender.  It actually takes the pressure off of trying to be someone you are not.  And thank God those years are behind me.  I learned a lot!  The hard way.  And I have the laugh lines to show for it! 
Look for stuff you like about yourself.  Are you breathing?  Here we go again.

"Blissful"  Hardest saved for last.  You cannot live in bliss all the time.  It would actually be no fun.  There have to be clouds and hard times and sad times.  And you can't just whistle a happy tune and be done with it.  Someone dies, you get sick, you break up with someone, all difficult.  Here is what we all know (if you 've been there before).  Time heals.  It really does.
You can help by not retelling your  story over and over and over.  Yes, if you have been deeply hurt or you are grieving, you need to talk about it.  But when someone cuts you off on the freeway and you get mad, do you find yourself retelling that tale over and over and getting mad each time you do?  that is not good for you, your body or the person you  are telling it to.  An emotion goes through you in about a minute or so.  You get mad. It's gone. Done.  Until you play the story over again.
We all do it.  See if you can just let things go.  Someone talking about you behind your back?  Well done, you!  Bad press is good press. Don't take it all so personally.
Here is something I have found out.  none of it is about you. Truly.  
So in each moment we can choose a little brighter attitude.  Just gradually choosing a better feeling.  A higher vibration to attract more and more of the same to you.
Before you know it, Bliss, is a general state of being and you are never far from it. 
A Sunset will bring you to tears, a smile from a baby will make you giggle, you will sing out loud to your dog (and your dog will be very impressed.)
And you won't care what people say because no one is the boss of you!
namaste

Now Ma Stay Right Here:)